Throughout July and August I felt like I had the flu while spinning on a merry-go-round, which was on a ship, in a storm. I was dehydrated, losing weight, and missing work…a lot. I didn’t want to throw up at work because I was trying to keep the pregnancy a secret… So I would hop in my car and drive to Target (or Chipotle, or Office Max) to use their facilities- many times a day. Finally I was prescribed a strong anti-nausea medication, which helped. I was counting down the days to September because I was told that the 2nd trimester of pregnancy is bliss. September came and went and I felt like I finally got off of the merry-go-round, but I was still at sea with the flu. Now it’s October and I feel better yet…like maybe I’m on land with the flu, a vice squeezing my head, and a brick in my belly (the brick is from the meds)- quite an improvement. I’m still nauseous but not as bad and I’m not throwing up as often. I’m glad about this because the bathroom floor is a disgusting place for a forehead to rest. I told the baby last night that if s/he didn’t stop making me sick I would ground her till s/he’s 3, at least. I don’t know, is that too harsh?
Because of how distracting the nausea has been, I’m not sure if the reality of what’s developing has hit me fully. It’s strange to think a life that was not there before has come into existence. It’s so normal, and yet so profound.